Free Your Breath, Free your Life

G. I. Gurdjieff said that “time is breath.” And J. B. Priestly once described our time-starved situation as that of a knight who gets on his horse to go in search of time, not realizing that time is the horse he is riding. If time is indeed breath, and it is also the horse we are riding, then perhaps we can look toward our breath to discover a new, more conscious relationship to time in our lives.

For anyone who cares to look, it is certainly clear that the growing stress, anxiety, worry, and disharmony that many of us experience in this period of human history is closely associated with the fast, shallow upper-chest breathing that many of us experience in our daily lives, even when we are at rest. Such breathing is not just the result of chemical or mechanical imbalances in our body, but also stems from our increasing sensation and feeling of not having enough time and space in our lives. And this sensation comes in large part from our brain and nervous system, which is often in a state of emotional alarm. The truth is, as adaptable as we are as human beings, we are not designed for the kinds of chronically high-speed stressful lives that many of us live, and we pay a heavy price for it in terms of both our health and our happiness.

The Full Expanse of the Present Moment

If time is indeed breath, however, then there is an intelligent and healthy way out of this dilemma. The secret is in discovering a new inner attitude that can help us slow down our breathing and live in the full expanse and freedom of the present moment. Looking toward the future for some change in our lives without learning how to fully experience “the horse we are actually riding” is doomed to failure. Pushing ourselves into the future, as many of us do under the influence of our latest high-speed information technologies, undermines the rhythms and wisdom of the human organism and suffocates our breath and our life.

To open ourselves to our own inherent rhythms and wisdom, we must learn to experience through direct awareness the terrible effects that our time-conditioned life has on our health, well-being, and perception, and we must learn to open the breathing spaces of the body and find our own unconditioned breath—a breath that will most certainly reveal itself as longer and slower than our usual breath, which is now held captive to the stress-producing emotions of fear, anger, anxiety, and worry.

What is needed to help bring this about is not just work with breathing (though this is certainly necessary), but also a radical change of perception—the conscious, heartfelt experience of love, kindness, nonjudgment, and compassion, both toward ourselves and others. These feelings, which act as antidotes to the poisonous time-eating emotions that many of us experience day in and day out, can help harmonize our nervous system and bring our attention into the miracle of the present moment. They represent the felt ­appreciation for what exists here and now both in ourselves and ­others.

Copyright 2004-2011 by Dennis Lewis. This entire passage is from my book Free Your Breath, Free Your Life.

From my Harmonious Awakening website.

Dennis Lewis

From the esoteric, metaphysical, spiritual, or even scientific standpoint, whether we are looking “inside” at our own thoughts or feelings or “outside” at a beautiful sunset or a friend’s problems, the actual experience takes place in the field of our own consciousness. Every experience is, in reality, inside consciousness. Or, put another way, consciousness is the global space in which all functioning and perceptual activity take place.

Unfortunately, because of our tendency to live mainly from memory and images, and to existentially define ourselves in relation to the contents of these memories and images, we seldom notice this global space of consciousness, and the concomitant sense of “inwardness” that results. And yet it is just this global perception that can transform our narrow conditioning and identification and free our energy and creativity to be more sensitive and responsive to the challenges of living.

The Conscious Sensation of the Body

To live in inwardness means to experience the so-called inner and outer both as being “inside” consciousness. But this “inside” cannot be taken in a strict, literal way since, from this perspective, the very concept of inside and outside loses all meaning.

A more global experience starts with the conscious sensation of the body. We simply allow ourselves to sense the life of the body in the space of consciousness. This space, which can be experienced as pure potentiality, gives the sensation room to expand, to “unfold.” As we welcome this unfolding, we begin to perceive finer levels of inner vibration, deepening levels of somatic awareness.

Paradoxically, the more inward our experience, the more our kinesthetic and organic senses—and with them the various other senses—begin to relax. And as this relaxation takes place, our perceptions become more global, more all encompassing, as does the world that they reveal. We begin to get a powerful taste of the ancient idea that we are a microcosm of the universe, that the entire universe is in some sense within us.

The Self-Illuminating Space

Living inwardly, then, has nothing to do with introspection, or even self-observation. It is rather the natural result of allowing consciousness to be what it already is: the self-illuminating backdrop or space of all of our perceptions. Paradoxically, living inwardly puts us in touch with a vast panorama of both “inner” and “outer” impressions. Our senses become charged with a new significance, since they are suddenly “re-cognized” as extensions of consciousness. Seeing, hearing, sensing, tasting, feeling, and even thinking no longer function separately but rather become part of one large perception of interconnectedness and globality. And the impressions that emerge become doorways into consciousness itself.

The Meeting of Our Inner and Outer Worlds

From another perspective, living inwardly means to live at the place where the so-called inner and outer worlds meet. This place, which is not really a place at all, is the foundation, the substance, of all experience. This substance, the ubiquitous field of consciousness, is being itself, the all-embracing illuminating silence that lies at the heart of existence.

The “isness” of our life is this silence, the infinite potentiality that allows differentiated experiences to take place. But these experiences, and the sense of self-identify that shapes them, are not who we are. Like ripples on a pond or waves in an ocean, they are simply shifting configurations of something larger and more inclusive, of something unknown. It is our constant identification with these configurations that keeps us from experiencing this intrinsic wholeness of which they are just a part or manifestation.

The best way to get a taste of this wholeness is through the sensation of our own bodies. Sitting quietly with eyes shut, simply allow your sensation to be an intimate object of your awareness—to live inside your awareness. As you begin to experience this inwardness and allow it to deepen of its own accord, you’ll notice that your sensation starts to expand; you will actually feel a kind of opening into an unknown world: the world of consciousness—your own real self.

It is important to understand that living in inwardness, exploring the usually hidden dimensions of our inner self or being, has nothing to do with “self-ishness.” Quite the contrary, the inwardness that we can experience connects us with the inwardness of every human being. It releases us from our constant identification with and attachment to everything in and around us—especially from identification with our self-image and the surfaces of others. It opens us to a mostly unknown world of impressions, energies, and potentialities.

Bringing Inwardness Into Our Outer Lives

Though at the beginning of the work with inwardness we can best come to experience it while sitting quietly, eventually we need to be able to work with inwardness in the midst of our outer lives. We see around us many people who meditate regularly yet are unable or unwilling to bring the work of inwardness into their everyday lives. And if we look closely, we see that this is the result of a basic misunderstanding—the belief that inwardness requires outer silence and a minimum of distractions. Certainly, at the beginning of this work such conditions are helpful, sometimes even necessary. But later, one needs to bring this work into the stress, noise, and disharmony of the outer world. For we ourselves are part of and contribute to this stress, noise, and disharmony. We are in fact not separate from it. It is not others who create our outer lives; it is we, ourselves, who do so. By bringing the work of inwardness into every corner and aspect of our lives, we not only see the many ways we contribute to the negativity in and around us, but we also begin to discover how it can be transformed.

Breathe Into Being: Awakening to Who You Really Are

Opening to the sensations of the body, which I often refer to as self-sensing, brings us into a more genuine relationship with ourselves, since it reveals how we actually respond to the inner and outer circumstances facing us. It also has a beneficial impact on our nervous system, helping to bring about the natural changes necessary for harmonious functioning and development. The human brain includes some 100 billion neurons, each of which “touches” some 10,000 other neurons. These neurons have many functions, but one of the main ones is to connect the various parts of the organism with one other, so that the organism as a whole can function in an integrated way while carrying out its activities. Through self-sensing we provide the organism with information it might not otherwise receive. We begin to learn firsthand about the interrelationships of our breathing, thoughts, emotions, postures, and movements. By noticing the sensations of our body, especially our breathing, in both the quiet and not-so-quiet circumstances of our lives, we experience connections between dimensions of ourselves that ordinarily escape our awareness. Self-sensing gives our brain and nervous system the spacious perspective it needs to help free us from our habitual psychophysical patterns of action and reaction. It helps free us from our various identifications and attachments with some function or manifestation of ourselves. When we pay choiceless attention to what is, we become one with awareness, with presence.

Try it now for a minute or two. Whatever position you are in, sense your entire body, including your breathing. Become innocently intimate with all the sensations that are occurring, opening as much as possible to them. Also include the shapes and energies of the thoughts and feelings that are taking place—negative or positive, it doesn’t matter. Don’t attempt to change anything. Simply get as close as possible to everything that is happening. Notice how allowing yourself to get closer to what is actually happening in your own body and mind seems to open up a much more spacious sensation of yourself, a sensation of “wholeness.”

Copyright 2009 by Dennis Lewis. Passage from Breathe Into Being: Awakening to Who You Really Are

Dennis Lewis

Though many of us are familiar with the traditional ideas of energy transformation, especially with regard to chakras, meridians, channels, and energy centers, few of us consciously experience the subtleties of our energies in our daily lives. Typically, we notice the state of our energy only when we are bubbling over with it, when we are exhausted, when we are meditating, or when we are doing some kind of intense work with our bodies. The rest of the time, which is most of the time for most of us, we are oblivious to the amount or quality of the energy we have or to how it moves through our bodies. Consequently, it most often gets spent mechanically in relation to whatever attracts us, repulses us,  or occupies our attention at the moment.

For the most part, we become aware of our energy through the awareness of our sensations. By allowing our inner attention to embrace our body in the midst of whatever we are doing–by listening, as it were, to the sensations in our skin, muscles, viscera, and so on as we function in the world–we can get a direct taste of the quantity and quality of our energy.

Those of us who make this effort of attention, however, will undoubtedly notice huge gaps in our experience–parts of ourselves that we cannot sense at all. We will also see that the word “sensation” has many different meanings, depending on the strength and fluidity of our attention.

Those who continue this work with attention in a serious way will eventually be able to distinguish several different levels of sensation, from the fragmentary sensation of our muscular tensions and contractions; to the uniform “prickly” sensation of our skin; to the sensation of temperature and movement; to the living, breathing sensation of our own internal organs, fluids, and bones; to the deep all-encompassing sensation of the life force moving through us.

The awareness of our energy thus starts with an overall sensation of the body, in which we take note of the body’s various configurations, movements, tensions, contractions, and so on. We will observe how some sensations consume energy, while others bring energy. The sensation of unnecessary muscular contraction, for example, consumes a great deal of energy, while the sensation of dynamic relaxation, of alert openness, brings energy.

Ideally, the overall sensation of the body becomes the backdrop for everything else that we experience. But for this to occur takes time and understanding. It depends on the realization that the body is not simply a solid object with a well-defined boundary, but is also a dynamic field of forces that can relate us, through a kind of expansive resonance, to everything in and around us–in fact, some traditions tell us, to the entire cosmos.

From even the most materialistic viewpoint, there is no final separation between our body and its environment. Energies are exchanged and transformed through various physical, chemical, and psychological processes. These exchanges have to do with the food, air, and impressions we take in from our environment and the various actions we take upon this environment through breathing, perceiving, moving, speaking, excreting, and so on.

Subtle Energies
What’s more, there is a great deal of experiential evidence (which you can verify for yourself) that in addition to the obvious physical energies of the organism itself we also consist of subtle energies that are not bounded by our skin, but rather radiate through and around us in the form of what various traditions call “energy bodies” or our “atmosphere.” The body and its environment are thus bound up in an intimate dance in which neither partner can be isolated from the other. It is the energy of this dance, of the transformations that are constantly taking place, that gives us the sensation of materiality and substance.

While many of the energy transformations that take place as part of this dance are beyond our power to influence in any meaningful way, there are others that can be influenced through a revolutionary change in attitude, what is called in the Christian Tradition metanoia, the very way we look at ourselves and the world. But this influence does not take place through our ego or will but rather through consciousness itself.

When we truly see our ego, our self-image, for what it is–an illusory or incomplete conception of ourselves–the energies that were bound up with maintaining (and defending) it are freed up for real transformation. This transformation, which includes our seeing, hearing, smelling, sensing, feeling, and thinking, brings us an expansive sense of wholeness and unity in the midst of whatever we are doing, thinking, sensing, and feeling.

Starting the Work
In the beginning work to become aware of our energy, it is enough to become sensitive to the ways in which it manifests in our bodies. As we learn how to sense ourselves not only in quiet moments, but also in the crush of our daily activities, we will see that there is very little economy in our use of energy. We not only spend enormous amounts of energy presenting and defending our self-image to ourselves and others, but we also waste our energy in preconceptions, expectations, and compulsive thinking. We even lose energy fretting about events over which we have no control: for example, the weather, how other people drive, and so on. What’s more, as a result of our identification with and slavery to various restrictive thoughts, emotions, and sensations, as well as of faulty physical education and posture, we waste huge amounts of energy through unnecessary tension and lack of economy in many of our actions.

It is not enough, however, just to notice this waste. We must actively observe the way in which various parts of our body tense up in relation to various physical habits; thoughts and feelings of anger, fear, insecurity; changes in environment; and so on. Places to which we need to give special attention include the face, eyes, throat, hands, shoulders, abdomen, and pelvis. It takes energy to have a tense mouth or to hold our shoulders up or our stomach in. Yet that is what many of us do when we are angry, anxious, irritated, or fearful about something. It is no wonder that so many of us complain about not having enough energy to do the things we say we’d really like to do, or about being exhausted before we even get out of bed in the morning. Our bodies are living under constant, often unnecessary, tension in response to physical and psychological pressures from our inner and outer environments, and our energy is being consumed by this tension.

Through the work of self-sensing, however, it is possible to begin to notice the tension earlier and earlier as it develops. In fact, through self-sensing we can actually see the tension developing before our energy is consumed by it. In this moment of awareness, what is sometimes called presence, we may realize that although we may not be able to stop the tension that is occurring we are nevertheless free not to identify ourselves with it, as well as with the stories we automatically create to explain it. Instead of saying “I am tense,” one finds oneself saying “tension is occurring.” And instead of saying “I am tense because so and so did or said such and such,” one finds oneself simply noticing the various thoughts and emotions that arise automatically in the midst of the tension.

The Struggle Between Identification and Consciousness
If we stay with this presence, observing the struggle that begins to take place between identification with the tension and its supposed causes on the one side and consciousness of them on the other, the energies that would have been wasted will instead begin to feed presence itself.

As we take sides with consciousness, not allowing ourselves to become identified with or attached to our automatic reactions to whatever is happening, impressions, both from the inside and the outside, will come to life with new intensity and meaning as a kind of food for the soul. Our energy will become lighter and more sensitive, and we will begin to sense it throughout the organism as an expansive field of perception that connects us with our inner and outer worlds in a more direct and real way. As we allow our attention to stay with this more-global sensation, no matter what else is happening, we will find ourselves opening to the energy of consciousness itself. It is this energy that is needed for the work of self-transformation and awakening.

Copyright 2008-2010 by Dennis Lewis.

The Harmony of Mindful Breathing

Yogis, qigong practitioners, meditators, and alternative health practitioners have known for many years that conscious, natural breathing can help reduce stress, increase relaxation, and facilitate healing. In her groundbreaking book Molecules of Emotion, neuroscientist Candace Pert lends scientific support to this view when she tells us that bringing our attention to our breathing during meditation brings many such benefits. According to Pert, mindful breathing helps us “enter the mind-body conversation without judgments or opinions, releasing peptide molecules from the hindbrain to regulate breathing while unifying all systems.”

In a phone conversation I had with her on May 9, 1995, Pert pointed out that the part of the brain that controls breathing is located at the fourth ventrical of the floor of the brain. This is the same location the secretes many neuropeptides, which, among other actions, modulate our feelings, which, of course, have an enormous influence on almost every aspect of how we function.

What is important to take from these physiological facts is that the way we breathe can have a powerful influence on the relationship between mind, emotions, and body. If our breathing is disharmonious, for example, the relationships between these functions will also be disharmonious, resulting in poor communication between them and little sense of real wholeness.

A big help in improving communication, harmony, between these functions is to practice following, being present to, your breathing. In this practice, you simply use your inner attention to follow, to sense, your inhalations, exhalations, and any natural pauses between for several breaths. When sensing your breathing, it is important not to attempt to manipulate it or control it in any way. Any effort to do so, especially an effort driven by your thoughts or emotions, will most likely bring or exacerbate disharmony.

If you really wish to reduce stress, increase relaxation, and improve communication between thinking, feeling, and sensing, one approach is to sit quietly each day for at least 15 minutes in touch with the whole sensation of your body, including the subtle inner and outer movements of your breath. Sit on a chair or cushion with your eyes closed and your hands either together in your lap or palms down on your knees. Sense your weight being supported by the earth, and allow the entire sensation of your body to come alive inside your awareness.

Once your mind and body become very quiet and you are in touch with the overall sensation of your body, pay particular attention for several breaths first to the air entering and leaving your nose, noticing the warmth or coolness of the air. Then gradually (and progressively) expand your attention to include the movement of air into and out of  not only your nose, but also your throat, trachea, and lungs. Sense how the air feels as it moves through the airways and notice any “electric charges” as the air intimately touches the tissues through which it moves.

As you undertake this practice, be careful not to analyze or judge anything you notice about your breathing. Just watch, sense, and feel your breath as it manifests throughout your body. This will help balance your energies and bring your body, mind, and feelings into a more intimate and harmonious relationship.

Copyright 2010 by Dennis Lewis

Dennis Sitting with Raven Circling Above

Here is a special meditation of self-inquiry, in which you will explore your breath as a gateway into yourself. Through practice of this meditation, you will have an opportunity to receive a glimpse, a taste, a sense of your inner being, your unconditioned nature.

Sit Comfortably in Silence

Begin by sitting toward the front of a firm chair, with your spine straight but supple. You can, of course, sit cross legged on a cushion if that is comfortable for you. However you sit, make sure your hips are higher than your knees.

Close your eyes, and fold your hands together in your lap or put them palm down on your knees. Rock gently forward and backward on your “sit bones” until you find a comfortable yet erect posture (if you are sitting on a chair, check your feet to be sure they are relaxed and flat on the floor). Just sit in silence for a few minutes, simply being present to yourself as you are.

Engage Your Thinking with the Question “Who am I?”

Now, with your thought, ask yourself who you are. Don’t allow yourself to be taken by any particular answer. Simply ask the question “who am I?” and observe and let go of any answers as they appear. Ponder this question with your mind for at least five minutes.

Engage Your Sensation with the Question “Who am I?”

Now let the whole sensation of your body enter your awareness, including a sensation of your breathing. Follow your breath as it moves from the tip of your nose, through your nasal passages, into your throat and trachea, and down into your lungs. Sense how the tissues of your body seem to open like flowers as you inhale and close as you exhale. Don’t try to “do” anything. Just follow, sense, and watch. Observe in an intimate way any thoughts or feelings that take place, but don’t lose yourself in them. Continue to sense your body and follow your breathing like this for at least five more minutes. Then ask “who am I?” again, this time with your entire sensation. Let the question touch every cell of your body. Work in this way for at least five minutes.

A Gateway Into Our Unconditioned Nature

As you continue to follow your breathing, notice the pause that occurs naturally at the end of your out-breath. Include this pause in your overall awareness of yourself. The great mystical traditions have spoken of this pause, this space, between the out-breath and the in-breath as a gateway into our unconditioned nature, into our underlying reality as pure consciousness. It is in this boundless space between exhalation and inhalation, a space that is always there beneath, around, and within our thoughts, feelings and sensations, that we can more readily begin to let go of everything we believe we know about ourselves and open ourselves to the unknown.

Continue to follow your breathing, paying special attention to the space between exhalation and inhalation. Sense this space as kind of “resting place,” a place to give up your self-image, your identity, and simply come to rest in yourself. Don’t try to force anything. Just watch and sense.

As your breathing continues, and as this space begins to expand into a sense of global consciousness, let yourself become one with it.  See how your thoughts, sensations, feelings, and breath are all contained within consciousness itself. Feel the miracle of yourself here and now, alive in a vast ocean of space and presence—alive in the vast ocean of the unknown.

When You’re Ready to Finish

When you’re ready to stop, let go of any experiences you may have just had and return to the whole sensation of your body and the movement of your breath from the tip of your nose down into your lungs. Then stop following your breath and just sense yourself sitting there in silence.  When you’re ready, gradually open your eyes, get up, and return to your so-called ordinary life.

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Copyright 2009 by Dennis Lewis. You can find expanded versions of this practice in my book Free Your Breath, Free Your Life, and in my audio program Natural Breathing (where I personally guide you through the practice).

The Tao of Natural Breathing, by Dennis Lewis

Our Inability to Exhale Fully

According to Magda Proskauer, a psychiatrist and pioneer in breath therapy, one of the main obstacles “to discovering one’s genuine breathing pattern” is the inability that many of us have to exhale fully. Whereas inhalation requires a certain amount of tension, exhalation requires letting go of this tension.  Full inhalation without full exhalation is impossible. It is important, therefore, to see what stands in the way of full exhalation. For many of us, what stands in the way is often what is no longer necessary in our lives.  Proskauer points out that “Our incapacity to exhale naturally seems to parallel the psychological condition in which we are often filled with old concepts and long-since-consumed ideas, which, just like the air in our lungs, are stale and no longer of any use.”*  She makes it clear that in order to exhale fully we need to learn how to let go “of our burdens, of our cross which we carry on our shoulders.” By letting go of this unnecessary weight, we allow our shoulders and ribs to relax, to sink downward into their natural position instead of tensing upward.  Full exhalation follows quite naturally.

Our Inability to Inhale Fully

Those of us who are unable to exhale fully in the normal circumstances of our lives are obviously unable to inhale fully as well. In full inhalation, which originates in the lower breathing space and moves gradually upward through the other spaces, one’s abdomen, lower back, and rib cage must all expand. This, as we have seen in earlier chapters, helps the diaphragm, which is attached all around the bottom of the rib cage and anchored to the spine in the lumbar area, to achieve its full range of movement downward. For this to happen, the muscles and organs involved in breathing must be in a state of dynamic harmony, free from unnecessary tension. But this expansion is not just a physical phenomenon, it is also a psychological one. It depends on both the wish and the ability to engage fully with our lives, to take in new impressions of ourselves and the world.

Freedom To Embrace the Unknown

Full exhalation and inhalation are thus most possible when we are free enough to let go of the known and embrace the unknown. In full exhalation we empty ourselves—not just of carbon dioxide, but also of old tensions, concepts, and feelings. In full inhalation, we renew ourselves—not just with new oxygen, but also with new impressions of everything in and around us. Both movements of our breath depend on the “unoccupied, empty space” that lies at the center of our being. It is the sensation of this inner space (and silence)—which we can sometimes experience in the natural pause between exhalation and inhalation— that is our path into the unknown. It is the sensation of this space that can enliven us and make us whole.

Dennis sitting with raven circling above

For these traditions, the real consciousness, the boundless presence, that is associated with our true nature is an alchemical force that can transform the human organism, opening its various perceptual centers–thought, feeling, and sensation–to new levels of sensitivity and responsiveness. This opening enables us to experience dimensions of reality unavailable to our ordinary awareness. The great traditions tell us that it is only through this higher, more-inclusive consciousness that we can uncover our true potential and destiny as human beings.

Unfortunately, most of us in the West have been educated to believe that consciousness is little more than a mental phenomenon somehow equatable to thought. We have even been taught, especially by some in the scientific community, that since consciousness cannot be studied under a laboratory microscope it must therefore be a product of our imagination. Though few of us take this “reductionism” seriously, the idea of “consciousness as thought” continues to plague society as a whole and has greatly impoverished our understanding of ourselves and others.

The Overall Structure of the Human Brain

To begin a first-hand study of consciousness, it may be helpful to review, if even in an overly simplified way, the overall structure of the human brain. Evidence shows that the human brain is composed of three basic centers or levels. These centers, each functioning as a kind of sub-brain, are interrelated networks of nerve cells, each with its own intelligence and memory storehouse. These centers, which develop at various stages in our early growth, are the inner brain, the middle brain, and the outer brain. The inner brain, or brain stem, handles the visceral, instinctive, and moving functions of the organism. It is the seat of our sensory awareness. The middle brain, or limbic cortex, mediates between our inner and outer worlds by adding emotional content and motivation to our experiences. It is the seat of our values and propels us into action. And the outer brain, or cerebral cortex, allows us to reflect our sensory and emotional experiences to ourselves and to adapt to the changing conditions of the world. It is the seat of our intellect and thought, our potential to gain perspective through a kind of “overview” of what is occurring in our lives and the ability to set aims and goals for the future.

To be fully conscious, to experience the so-called inner and outer worlds as impartially as possible, means to have full, fluid, simultaneous access to all three of these brain centers. For these centers are the instruments of experience and perception in our lives. They are the innate structures through which the raw materials of living take on specific forms and meanings. Everything we are and can become in relation to our sensations, feelings, and thoughts is somehow bound up with the proper functioning and balance of these centers.  What’s more, these centers are not just located in our head brain, but are distributed and linked throughout our entire body, even in our belly and heart, as ancient traditions such as Taoism and the latest discoveries in neurobiology and other scientific disciplines have shown. It is through a global awareness of the whole of ourselves that we can get in touch with these centers and explore their interrelationships.

The Study of Attention

The study of these centers and of consciousness begins with a study of our “attention.” Our attention is the gateway into and out of these instruments of perception. Whether it is mobilized intentionally or accidentally, our attention is the thread of immediate awareness that connects our inner and outer lives. When someone says “pay attention,” for example, it is usually a reminder that we are not in touch with where we are and what we are doing at that moment–that our attention is somewhere else or has vanished altogether. Without attention, without a perceived connection to what is occurring at the moment inside or outside us, we are simply automatons set in motion with little purpose or meaning.

Experiment: Being Attentive to the Inner & Outer

To understand this better, try the following experiment. As you continue reading, allow your attention to take in not only the “outer” words on the page but also the “inner” thoughts and associations they evoke in your mind. For example, something said here may remind you of something that you read or heard recently, or you may have the thought that this is a difficult exercise, and so on. Once your attention can, to some degree, embrace both the words on the page and your associations at the same time, allow it to expand even further to include an overall sensation of your body, as well as any sounds in your immediate environment. What sensations can you experience? Are these sensations pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral? Without thinking about these sensations, simply include them in your overall experience of yourself. If you are really adventurous, try including your emotional state as well. Perhaps you find that you are still agitated about something that happened earlier in the day or that you’re feeling very good because of a compliment that someone gave you.

As you experiment in this way with your attention, take note of how easily it gets distracted. If you are very observant, you may see the exact moment when your attention is distracted from this larger perceptual context of your inner life and becomes locked on to (identified with) a particular sensation, thought, or feeling in the form of a memory, a daydream, a mental image, a complaint, a pain, an itch, a sound, and so on.

This experiment shows that, at the very least, consciousness, as manifested through the watchtower of attention, is a kind of impartial, interior illumination that cannot be equated with the functions of thought, feeling, or sensation. Indeed, the experiment shows that consciousness is what makes our experience of these human functions possible at all. We can be more or less conscious of one of these functions by itself, or we can be conscious of them all more or less simultaneously. Consciousness is thus a reality that, at least experientially, has many degrees and levels. The light of consciousness can be turned up high, as it often is in moments of great wonder, joy, or suffering, or it can be turned down low, as it is when we move though our lives mechanically, on automatic pilot.

Most of Us Live on Automatic Pilot

If we are honest with ourselves, we have to admit that we live on automatic pilot most of the time. The moment before you tried this experiment, you probably had little contact with your actual sensations and feelings. In fact, you were probably not even aware of the associative ideas and images taking place in your mind. Instead, you were no doubt lost in these associations, with little direct presence of yourself sitting and reading.

Since childhood we have been taught, mostly by example, that losing ourselves in what we experience is not only normal but also desirable. Gurdjieff called this feature of the human psyche “identification.” We glorify this state with words such as enthusiasm or passion. Since everything we do, however, ultimately involves the energies of our whole organism–mental, physical, and emotional–it is clear that conscious action, along with the immediacy of experience that grows out of it, depends on developing or discovering an awareness that is broad enough to take in as much of our inner and outer environment as possible. This awareness has nothing to do with becoming identified with, or passively losing ourselves in, something that interests us and being carried along by it. Rather it is a state of conscious engagement, a state in which we are fully present now (the only time we can be present) to whatever is taking place. This state of conscious engagement sharpens our perceptions and brings clarity to what we do. To reach this awareness, however, requires a deep thirst for understanding, for opening ourselves to who we really are.

Experiment: Catching Yourself in Action

To understand this better, observe yourself several times during the day in the middle of an activity that really interests you. It could be talking to a friend, playing tennis, working with a business associate, washing the dishes, reading a book, taking part in an Internet discussion group, holding your child–whatever you are doing. Without changing anything, simply take note of how much of yourself (and your attention) is involved in what you are doing. Don’t judge what you see. Just observe. Sometimes you’ll feel like you’ve just woken up from a kind of dream. “What? Me? Here? Now?”  You’ll actually be aware of yourself, right there where you are, in that situation, functioning in a certain way. Other times, you’ll simply follow what you are doing, without much attention to your own mind or body. At still other moments, you’ll forget about the whole experiment, losing yourself completely in what is going on. See how your attention fluctuates from moment to moment. As you undertake this experiment, try not to judge anything. Just take note of what actually happens.

As you continue this experiment over the course of days and weeks you may begin to see how much of your life goes by mechanically and unconsciously, with little direct experience, and how your attention and consciousness change from moment to moment. This observation will help you look at both yourself and others from a new, more-honest perspective. You will begin to realize that many of the so-called problems of life, including not getting what you think you want, are really problems of insufficient awareness, of not being fully present either to yourself or others. Realizing this is the foundation for any genuine transformation of yourself and society.

Copyright 1995-2009 by Dennis Lewis. This is an edited version of an essay that first appeared in May/June 2009 issue of The Journal of Harmonious Awakening.