The Mystery Is Still Alive

Back from Esalen. Five days with an amazing group of some 20 people all exploring the miracle of the breath–the breath of presence.

Out-breath, letting go into the silent spaciousness that is what we really are; in-breath, being filled with the energies and forms of life. The unknown breathing each of us and reminding us of the great mystery. Around us the beauty and mystery of cliffs, trees, ocean, all previously experienced by the Esselen Indians, who saw this place as sacred and who understood their role as a living connection between heaven and earth. Just listening: ocean sounds, breath sounds, wind sounds, bird sounds, heart sounds, thought sounds, feeling sounds. The beauty and mystery of consciousness and openness, of a deep welcoming of life just as it is.

Back in Scottsdale with Ella, my beautiful canine companion who has been dying just a bit faster than the rest of us. Six of us, including my wife Dasha and my son Benoit, celebrated her life in the garden where she enjoyed spending so much time and then driving her to the clinic where we all gathered on a blanket in a tiny room while the doctor, whom Ella really liked, administered the chemicals that would calm her, stop her heart, and release her from suffering. We spoke to her intimately, with tears streaming down our faces. I whispered in her ear that I hoped we would meet again, somehow, someplace. And then, she returned to the unknown—where we are all destined to return.

Out-breath, letting go into the silent spaciousness that is what we really are; in-breath, being filled with the energies and forms of life. I am still here and the mystery is still alive as changes take place in and around me.