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Do You Practice Unhappiness?

September 4, 2013

Many of us practice unhappiness; we train ourselves to be unhappy. We slump, we frown, we judge, we criticize, we express anger, we hold our breath. And the more we do these things and identify with them, the more we train our brain, muscles, nerves, and all the other living tissues and energies of the body to maintain these habits. But seeing how deeply conditioned we are by them, and thinking clearly about this truth, can be very helpful. It means that we can also train ourselves to be happy. We can remember to stand straight, pay attention, smile, think healthy thoughts, practice self-restraint, be kind to ourselves and others, and so much more. We can begin a new kind of training, a more honest and compassionate way of relating to ourselves and others. Of course, for this to happen, we must have the courage to be happy, and we must do the necessary work.

Copyright 2013, by Dennis Lewis

2 Comments leave one →
  1. Stella permalink
    September 4, 2013 9:09 pm

    When death comes to a family twice within a year, ( my husband and father) it’s hard not to frown, slump, be angry, and most of all unhappy. Yes I truly understand how happy thoughts can energize a person. It can make life sweeter, for me there is a but… How can I erase the unhappiness, for my life to go on. How can I have restraint against negativity when there’s death.

  2. October 6, 2013 2:32 pm

    Stella, I am so, so, so sorry you have lost your husband and father. I don’t think we’re supposed to slap a happy face on ourselves. It would be unnatural to be feeling happy in the face of such great loss.

    Here’s something I wrote which may be helpful .. .

    Sweet Seeds

    I don’t think you should try to erase the unhappiness as much as embrace and smile kindly and tenderly at your grieving self. When we fight the feelings we give them power . . . they grow stronger and don’t leave. When we accept them . . . allow them to be what they are . . . they can run their natural course.

    You will never be the same. You will learn to be okay. Most people do. somehow.
    Perhaps, it is a matter of cherishing all that was good, and all that is good now, without denying the pain. Learning that you are still blessed, no matter how it feels.
    And nurturing yourself, and smiling at yourself and others, whenever possible.

    Much love,


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